she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize