Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize