Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My balls are so social today.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
