Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
