Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
