just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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