You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
