I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
