Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
