I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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