her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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