Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
