I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
