Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
