his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
