He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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