If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize