i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
