Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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