So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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