your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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