so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
