i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
