I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
