maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
