i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
