So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
