well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
