i just wanna soil my oats bro
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
