did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
