you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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