and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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