I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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