if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
