Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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