Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I skipped work to stalk him.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
