i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
