On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
