It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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