funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
