I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
did you just send me my own nude
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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