At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
