don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
