Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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