Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i think my cat just said my name.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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