A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
