exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I smell stomach acid.
it was like eating out sand paper
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
