I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The air was thick with penises
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
