But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
