I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
