We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
