ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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