so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
