nut hugger
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
