he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
