Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
