Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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