Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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