Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Of course I have a pirate flag
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
