Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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