You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
